50 Reasons to Have Sex Merlin
by mystic7194
Summary: In How I Met Your Mother they create a list of 50 Reasons to Have Sex. I've written a fic for every reason. The fics are mostly slash from different fandoms including Sherlock, Supernatural, Grimm, and Glee. Most fics stand alone. This story contains the Merlin fics. Visit my profile for fics in other fandoms. see each chapter for specific warnings, pairings, ext.
1. Reason 7: Paratroopingbangin' for roof

Spoilers: episode 3.12- "Gwaine" Pairing: Gwaine/Merlin- if only in Gwaine's mind  
Rating: PG Warning: Minor violence, vague sex references

In this chapter Gwaine tries to get in Merlin's bed and he succeeds… sort of.

AN: Paratrooping/ banin' for roof is defined in the How I Met Your Mother dictionary as "You go out of town, but instead of getting a hotel room, you go straight to a bar with the sole intention of hooking up with a girl just so you have a place to stay." This chapter is based on the beginning of episode 3.12- Gwaine.

Gwaine arrives in Camelot with £10 in his pocket and a half-filled ruck sack on his back. That's not enough for a decent place to stay but it is enough for a couple of beers. Of course if he plays his cards right, a few drinks could turn into a night of fun and a place to sleep.

At first, Gwaine is disappointed. No one really catches his eye until the skinny, pale bloke with the dark hair and rather large ears enters behind the muscular blond who looks like a prat. He's about to send a drink over to their table when a neanderthal tries to threaten the pub's owner. Blondie decides to be a hero and quickly gets in over his head.

So Gwaine jumps in. At first everything is going well. Gwaine takes out several of the neanderthal's friends which seems to impress the skinny bloke. He even gets the skinny bloke to give him his name: 'Merlin'. Then the shit had hit the fan. Gwaine had been extremely heroic in taking down the neanderthal but the knife sticking out of his leg had been at bit of a setback.

At least it gets him into Merlin's bed... if not exactly as he had planned.

AN: Poor Gwaine. So far he's the only significant character in these stories to not get any. Maybe I can fix that in another story. ;)


	2. Reason 10: Curiosity

Spoilers: None Pairing: Arthur / Merlin Rating: PG-13 Warning: References to Sex

In this chapter Gwaine makes some wild claims about sex with a wizard and Arthur decides to put them to the test.

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have sex with a wizard?" Gwaine asks as Arthur returns to their table with the next round of beers.

"I've never given it much thought," Arthur replies dryly. "But I bet you have."

"Of course," Gwaine agrees. "They say that when a wizard gets excited..."

"Just who are they?" Arthur questions. Gwaine ignores his friend's question.

"…when a wizard gets excited everything starts floating. Anything that's not nailed down goes flying across the room. My cousin claims she floated 3 feet off the bed. Then, as they both orgasmed, all the windows in the room shattered. "

"As interesting as that sounds," Arthur says. "It doesn't seem like my idea of a good time,"

"That's not the best part," Gwaine continues. "They say that all wizards are hung like horses. There's some sort of secret spell that they pass down from generation to generation. It's quite something to see, so I'm told."

"That's rubbish," Arthur declares.

"How would you know, princess?" Gwaine counters. "You know a lot about wizard cocks?"

"No, but I've met my share of wizards," Arthur contends. "I doubt they are all well-endowed. Think about it. Merlin's a wizard but he's hardly popular with the ladies."

"Don't judge our friend too hastily," Gwaine argues. "I roomed with him for a while. He can fill out a pair of trousers rather nicely. He might surprise you."

With a wink Gwaine gets up from their table and heads to the bar to flirt with one of the bartenders. This leaves Arthur to contemplate what he said. Is Gwaine just having him on or is Merlin's cock really something to behold? The question plagues Arthur throughout the night and into the next morning. When Merlin comes to bring Arthur's breakfast Arthur finds himself snapping at the young wizard unnecessarily. He also catches himself staring at his manservant's crotch in an effort to get some idea of the size of the organ within but he can't tell.

Finally he decides that the only way to put the question to rest is to test Gwaine's theory.

As Prince Arthur lays sated in his bed with Merlin stretched out beside him, Arthur decides not to tell Gwaine that he was right about Merlin. Gwaine is already insufferable as is. Arthur also decides that he quite enjoys having sex with a wizard (at least one wizard in particular) although he could do without the exploding windows.

AN: I love Gwaine. (Although he still didn't get layed.) I hope you liked this chapter. Please leave a review. I'll be moving into a new apartment this weekend so I might be a little late with the next couple of chapters but please bear with me.


	3. Reason 17: Don't Want to Move Your Car

Spoilers: None Pairing: Merlin /Gwaine (friends with benefits), Arthur/Merlin unrequited Rating:PG-13 Warning: Mentions of sex, a few bad words

Summary: Gwaine has sex with Merlin and Arthur is jealous.

Arthur and his roommate Merlin had invited some of their mates over for Back to the Future movie marathon. About midway through the third movie Arthur's mind wanders and his gaze travels over their guests sprawled around the living room. Arthur is sharing a couch with his step-sister Morgana while Morgana's best friend Gwen cuddles with her boyfriend Lance at the couch's other end. Their friend Percival and Gwen's brother Elyan both fell asleep before the end of the second movie leaving Arthur's mate Leon is wedged between them.

Merlin and Gwaine share the remaining couch. Gwaine leans over to whisper something in Merlin's ear which causes the thin boy to burst out laughing. Arthur can't help but frown at them. Gwaine leans a little too close to be just friendly. He's annoyed that no one else noticed then again the first time he noticed was when he walked in on them having sex. Arthur doesn't really like Gwaine (and not just because Gwaine is a friend with benefits to the boy that Arthur has a crush on). Merlin just deserves better.

The movie comes to an end and the credits begin to roll. Leon untangles himself from his friends. Percival and Elyan blink awake. Everyone stands and stretches. They say their goodbyes and make plans to get together again before taking their leave. Eventually only Arthur, Merlin, and Gwaine are left. Gwaine is trying to convince Merlin to let him stay.

"There'll be no parking near my flat at this time of night," Gwaine points out. "How about you let me crash here and I make you feel good?"

Merlin blushes at the idea of Arthur overhearing Gwaine propositioning him but that doesn't stop him from leading the other man to his bedroom.

"Bastard," Arthur mutters as the pair disappears down the hall. He REALLY doesn't like Gwaine.

AN: Gwaine finally got some. YAY! I just wrote this between 1and 6:30 AM so I don't know how good it is. Please leave a review. I'm off to bed.


	4. Reason 23: Just Shaved Legs

Spoilers: None Pairing: Arthur/Merlin Length: 318 words Rating: PG-13 Warning: Shaving kink, sexual references

Summary: Arthur finds out that Merlin shaves his legs and realizes that he likes it.

AN: I don't like the reason as much as some of the others. It's probably geared toward women but I'm a slash writer. So I was trying to figure out which of the men in my slash pairings would shave their legs. I eventually decided on Merlin.

This is set in modern times (because shaving in medieval times was unpleasant). Merlin and Arthur share a flat during university. Merlin is on the swim team.

"Merlin, you've been in there for an hour," Arthur shouts as he bangs his fist against the bathroom door. His inconsiderate roommate had been in the bathroom 45 minutes ago when Arthur had gone for a run. When he'd returned tired and dripping with sweat he'd been craving a cool shower but Merlin was still in the bathroom. "Are you getting out of there today?"

He's barely finished speaking before the bathroom door opens and a towel clad Merlin emerges.

"It's all yours, you highness," Merlin states with sarcasm.

"What took you so long?" Arthur asks. Technically it's a rhetorical question but Merlin answers with a shrug anyway. That's when Arthur notices the items in Merlin's hand- a razor and a can of shaving cream. But Merlin doesn't have any facial hair, what could he be shaving? Arthur's eyes travel over Merlin's body revealing the answer.

"Were you spending all this time shaving your legs?" Arthur laughs. "I knew you were girl but this…"

"Coach recommended it," Merlin tries to defend himself. "It could shave a few seconds off my lap time which could be the difference between first and second place in a close race."

Arthur just keeps smirking.

"Plus, the sex is better that way," Merlin states. "It drives the boys… and girls crazy."

"No way," Arthur argues. "You're full of it."

"I can show you if you don't believe me," Merlin offers seductively. He takes hold of Arthur's hand and trails it up his leg slowly from ankle to upper thigh. Merlin's right. It does feel nice. So nice that it takes Arthur far too long to realize how close his hand has strayed to Merlin's semi-hard cock which is being just barely hidden by a towel. It's a split second decision for Arthur to reach out and stroke it.

'Well," Arthur thinks. 'If I'm going test it, I might as well test it completely.'

AN: What do you think? This one was a pain to write but I think it came out better than I expected.


	5. Reason 31: It's cold outside

Title: Title: Reason 31: It's cold outside

Spoilers: None Pairing: Merlin /Arthur established Rating: R Warning: Sex

Summary: It's too cold to leave the inn so Merlin and Arthur find another way to occupy themselves.

AN: Arthur is just a prince in this fic and knows about Merlin's magic.

The bright morning sun streaming in through the windows roused the crown prince of Camelot shortly after dawn. He blinks resentfully at the offending light. It takes several moments for his sleep-addled mind to identify the unfamiliar location- an inn about a half days ride from Camelot.

Arthur attempts to shift his body so he can get out of bed but something prevents him. He pulls off the thick fur blankets to reveal his sleeping manservant curled up against Arthur's side. The boy makes a sleepy noise of complaint as he is exposed to the cold winter air.

"Merlin!" Arthur demands loudly. "Merlin, why are you in my bed?"

"Hm, what?" the servant questions sleepily.

"Why-are-you-in-my-bed?" the prince repeats.

"It was cold last night, sire," Merlin explains. "The floor was like ice. I thought we could share body heat."

Merlin gives Arthur that infuriatingly adorable smile that Arthur can't resist.

"Fine," Arthur concedes. "But it's time to get up now."

"But Arthur," Merlin complains. "It's still freezing outside and it's cozy in here. Why do we have to leave?"

"My father expects me back in Camelot tonight," Arthur explains. "I can't exactly tell him I couldn't make it because my lazy servant was too comfy to get out of bed."

"We can leave at noon, when it's warmer, and still be in Camelot by nightfall," Merlin counters. Arthur contemplates his manservant's suggestion. He wasn't particularly looking forward to travelling through the thin layer of frost covers the ground in the early morning. Maybe the frost will melt in the warm afternoon sun.

"Fine Merlin," Arthur concedes. "But what do you propose we do while we wait."

"I can think of something," Merlin smiles mischievously. He moves to straddle the prince's lap and Arthur suddenly realizes that Merlin is naked.

"Why…?" is all Arthur can stammer out as his blood begins rushing southward.

"All the better for sharing body heat," Merlin explains.

He leans forward to kiss the prince as one hand works to free Arthur's cock from his breeches. Merlin uses his other hand to prepare himself using oil that Arthur didn't notice him grab. Arthur loves watching as his sensitive manservant wreathes on the three fingers he's pressing deep inside himself. Merlin makes such hot, desperate noises.

Once he's stretched himself, Merlin takes hold of Arthur's hardened cock and guides it into his tight heat. The warlock sinks down slowly until Arthur is fully sheathed within him. Then he raises himself up by his knees until only the head of Arthur's cock is inside him before quickly lowering himself so that the prince is balls deep in his manservant. Merlin repeats the action several times, his tight inner walls clenching and dragging along Arthur's member. Arthur thrusts just as Merlin is coming down making Merlin let out a loud moan. If Arthur were thinking clearly, he'd be worried about the patrons next door hearing them. But the only thing on the Prince's mind right now is making Merlin make that sound again.

Merlin speeds up as they both approach orgasm. He's practically bouncing in Arthur's lap doing his best to keep time with Arthur's thrusts. Merlin comes first, his seed spilling onto Arthur's chest. Merlin's passage clenching around Arthur as Merlin orgasms sends Arthur over the edge. Merlin lets out another moan as Arthur's warm cum fills him.

Merlin gently pulls himself off Arthur's cock and resumes his place curled against the monarch's side. He begins to drift off to sleep.

"Merlin," Arthur pokes the sorcerer until he lets out a grunt of protest. "The bed is incredibly sticky, Merlin. I am not sleeping next to you while you drip cum everywhere."

Merlin mutters some words (one of which sounds suspiciously like prat), waves his hand, and instantly the stickiness disappears. It's as if the sheets have been freshly laundered.

"Thank you," Arthur says. Merlin responds by muttering something rather rude about his ancestors. Arthur decides to let it go. He wraps his arms around his manservant and allows himself to drift to sleep. They have a few more hours until they have to leave.

AN: I enjoyed writing this chapter. I like the attitude that both Merlin and Arthur have. Please leave me a review. Tell me what you liked and where you think I can improve


	6. Reason 47: Miscommunication- Cheetos sex

Title: Reason 47: Miscommunication (Cheetos sex)

Spoilers: None Pairing: Merlin/Arthur Rating: PG Warning: implied sex

Summary: Merlin can't believe that Arthur got him Cheetos for their anniversary.

AN: This one is short (only 100 words) and based off a scene from How I Met Your Mother. I hope you enjoy it.

Merlin can't believe that for their six month anniversary Arthur had gotten him Cheetos. He knew the other boy was a prat but really Cheetos as an anniversary gift. That's mediocre even by Arthur's standards. Now Arthur is focused on the football match leaving Merlin bored. At least he has a snack.

Oops.

He drops a Cheetos. It bounces off his leg and into Arthur's lap. Without thinking Merlin reaches for it.

"Merlin?"

Merlin realizes that what he just grabbed isn't a Cheeto. Arthur squirms under Merlin's hand. Merlin just goes with it. His anniversary gets much better after that.

AN: I regret nothing. Please leave a review. The next chapter should be up tomorrow.


	7. Reason 48: To reinforce good behavior

Title: Reason 48: To reinforce good behavior (such as shaving & dental hygiene)

Spoilers: None Pairing: Arthur/Merlin Rating: PG Warning: Manipulation using sex (but in a fun way not an angsty way)

Summary: Merlin reveals how he got Arthur to do the dishes.

AN: I was inspired to write two chapters for this reason. This is the shorter Merlin one. A longer Sherlock one will be up tomorrow.

It's finally the weekend. Arthur; Arthur's boyfriend, Merlin; Merlin's co-worker, Gwaine; Arthur's friend, Kay; Merlin's best friend, Gwen and Arthur's step-sister are all squeezed around one table at their local pub.

Arthur goes to get the next round. When he comes back Merlin is discussing relationships with the girls.

"I'm serious, Gwen," Arthur overhears Morgana saying. "You can train a man to do anything using sex." Gwen makes a skeptical noise.

"It's true," Merlin adds. "That's how I got Arthur to do chores."

"Excuse me?" Arthur interjects. "Is that why I get an erection every time I do the dishes?"

AN: Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Sorry this is so short. I'm done with final so I should be able finish posting the remaining chapters within the next few days. Please leave a review.

I need your opinions. If I were to do an advent calendar type thing for next Christmas would you guys prefer if I wrote all the fic for one fandom or wrote for several different fandoms the way I did this series? Let me know in a message or review.


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